by Tim Hollister and Pam Shadel Fischer
One of the other mothers in the Mater Amabilis™ for High School Facebook group mentioned this book in a thread where I asked about books I could include in a health course to address things like alcohol and the opioid crisis. It's a relatively short and easy read, probably worth the time of anyone with a teenage driver (or an almost teen driver).
Tim Hollister is writing out of personal experience. After his son died in a single car accident, he started to wonder what he could have done differently. After some research, he decided our cultural approach to teaching driving should change based on evidence of what actions by parents and teens can decrease crashes and deaths.
Driving requires the continuous evaluation of hundreds of ever-changing factors and circumstances, and thus experts say that it takes three to five years of experience to become familiar and comfortable with the myriad situations that drivers encounter, not the twenty to one hundred hours that most states require for a teen to obtain a license.Basically, teens are inherently terrible drivers. We can take some actions to mitigate that risk like requiring a plan (like a flight plan) before driving, eliminating "joy riding" (riding around for fun without a specific place to be at a specific time), and providing vastly more supervised driving practice than is required by law. It is also important to discuss the factors that increase teen crashes like drugs, alcohol, and cell phones.
The authors are strongly against allowing your children to ride with teen drivers. They recommend you not send your younger children with teen drivers and that your teens should not ride when other teens are driving. This is a tough sell to parents who are anxious to share those time-consuming carpool responsibilities.
Parents who conclude that it is safe for their child to ride with a teen driver because that driver is a "sensible kid" who has taken driver's ed are playing with fire. The best advice about riding with a teen drive is don't.They suggested, if your son or daughter is riding with another teen, that they have a strategy for getting out of the vehicle if they feel unsafe.
[The] most popular is "I feel like I am going to throw up."I have discussed a code my son could text us if he finds himself in a dangerous or uncomfortable situation and wants out. We promised to come and get him, no matter where he is, and ask no questions as long as he promises to tell us if someone else is in danger. (The code word also means we can provide a "cover story" so he doesn't have to tell his friends he asked us to come and get him.) A code word like this won't get him out of a car, but it will get him picked up if he's standing on the side of the road where they let him out.
I have found myself driving more carefully after reading this book. Even though it seems like my fifteen-year-old is not paying attention, I want him to have a good example.
I intend to have my son read this book as part of his health class in tenth grade. It's not written to teens, but I'm hoping having him read the book may give him a deeper understanding of why we ask him to follow our rules when it is time for him to drive.
The authors of the book do not suggest we don't let our teenagers drive at all...at least, I don't think they do. After all, the only way to become a better driver is to practice driving. There's nothing wrong with taking your time, though, and in considering making the process more thorough than state law requires. All state laws are compromises. After all, we could decrease traffic fatalities dramatically if we lowered the speed limit to 30 mph on all roads, but as a society we've decided we're willing to take on the additional risk. Teenage driving requirements are a compromise as well, and as parents, we have the ability to consider whether we want to make those compromises.
On a related note, I have heard excellent reviews from parents for this driving course, available to teens that already have a driver's permit or driver's license.
I have received nothing in exchange for this review, which contains only my honest opinions. Links to Amazon are affiliate links.
