There were other less-low points, but there was one highlight: First Daughter gave a heartening narration of The Story of Theseus, part one (from Classic Myths to Read Aloud).
There was a guy who was a king and he was very young so he found more fun in going around his country than ruling it. Then he met a beautiful lady who he married. He left their tiny son one day to go back to his own kingdom but before he did that he left his golden sandals and sword under a boulder and he said to his wife that when his son was strong enough to lift the boulder he would take the sword and the sandals to his father in his castle. He grew up very strong, the boy, and one day he did lift the boulder. Then he left his mother. He decided to go the long dangerous way to Athens where his father ruled. He met one robber who liked to kill people by throwing them down a cliff where a giant tortoise would eat them. He took the robber and threw him down the pit so that he would die just as many others had as a tortoise’s meal. There was this other robber he met who liked to torture people by putting them in one spot, taking two giant tree branches from either side, tying them to the person, and then letting the branches go so they would be torn apart. When Theseus found out about this, he took the bad guy and he tied the two tree branches to him so he was torn apart. Nobody else would get torn apart in that place, Theseus felt sure of it. He went on his way for a little while. Then he met a man who was trying to collect some firewood. Nobody else would help him, but when he saw him, he helped carry his load. When he had helped him, the old man asked where he was headed. He told him he was headed toward his father’s palace. The old man begged him not to go because there was a bad guy who liked to claim that he had a bed that would fit all sizes and he would rest people there for the night. It would fit all sizes because when you laid down on it, if you were too tall he would cut off your feet but if you were too short he would stretch you. So if you went into his house, you would die. If you were just the right size, he would kill you anyway. He met this bad guy on the road and he invited him to come to his house. Then Theseus said “And do you happen to have a special bed that would fit me?” The bad guy looked worried because he could not catch Theseus on surprise. Then he drew his sword but Theseus used his strong arms (did I mention he was very strong?) to squeeze the life out of that guy. Then he went into his home and found great treasures stolen from the people. Then he called all the people from the country around and divided the treasure between them. The people were delighted because it’s not every day a stranger gives you treasure. Then he went on his way. When he finally came to the palace, he saw a bunch of boys feasting, weird people. He figured out that they were the king’s nephews and that when he died one of them would succeed to the throne because the king had no sons (which by the way is not true). He jumped up onto the table and said, “I am Theseus and I demand an audience with the king.” Because he had killed so many robbers that everyone knew him. His fame had gotten to the castle in much shorter time than he had. The king did not know him until he knelt before the king and handed out the king’s golden sandals and the sword and said "You left me these under a boulder long ago.” The king cried because he realized it was his son and the prince cried (now finally I can call him prince, not Theseus). He met his father and they lived happily for now.She wanted to say they lived happily ever after, but then remembered there is a part two, so she decided to leave the ending less final.
