by Dan Buettner
Mater Amabilis™families may recognize the author; he's the same one who wrote Sovietrek and Africatrek. We never read Africatrek, but loved Sovietrek. Apparently the kind of man who spends months biking across continents is the kind of man who devotes his later life to exploring what kind of behavior is correlated with happiness.
In the very beginning of this book is a little survey the reader can take to assess their current level of "happiness." Just for fun, I jotted down my answers and scored them only to find I was practically off the chart for happiness in just about everything. Financially, I didn't score as high because Kansas Dad and I have deliberately chosen a lifestyle that allows us to focus on non-financial aspects of well-being. (I also scored a little low on having a goal to work toward, but as Kansas Dad said, if you're goal is just to read a book while drinking tea...there's not a lot of work and planning to put into that.)
The point, though, is that Kansas Dad and I have thought a lot about what makes us happy: faith, family, relationships. Then we shaped our life around those. Mr. Buettner's book identifies many of those same features.
The most interesting parts of this book for me were the ones that concentrated on how communities can choose to shape their laws and ordinances to make it easier for people to choose the kinds of activities that contribute to better health, better relationships, and general well-being. Most cities and towns in America do not consider "happiness" of their residents when developing their communities; they often focus on creating jobs (which are necessary but not sufficient) and economic development (also necessary but often at levels far below what people might expect).
As former French president Nicolas Sarkozy said in 2009, there has been a troubling disconnect in recent years between what government statistics are saying about the economy and what most people are feeling. While production and profits may be rising, people may not be feeling any better about their lives.In the book, Mr. Buettner focuses on three countries in particular: Costa Rica, Denmark, and Singapore. Though he admits none of them would translate exactly into laws that would work in the United States, it's interesting to see how three different countries have developed different but equally successful ways to help their citizens flourish.
If the world you wake up to every day were designed to support healthier choices, you wouldn't need that extra oomph of willpower. if your grocery store featured the finest produce, if your friends dropped by every afternoon to take a walk together, if your neighborhood had easy-access sidewalks and bike lanes, if your workplace were a mile away from home, think how much easier it would be to make the choices I've outlined in this book that we all know lead to greater well-being!Each chapter includes some focused ideas for the reader to consider applying to his or her own life. As I mentioned above, most of these are things we are already doing. One change I am considering is planting a small garden with the children this spring. Kansas Dad is the gardener around here; I much prefer to read about gardening. Or, even better, to just sit at a window overlooking a garden while reading Jane Austen. But growing things and especially food would be such a great complement to our homeschool and would augment much of what we're already doing...it seems like something that might be worth the effort.
The book also reminded me that negative interactions are remembered at a much greater rate than positive ones, something I lead in many parenting books over the years.
Offer at least three positive comments to each of your friends and loved ones, on average, for every negative.Because we homeschool, my children do not have others interacting with them all day every day. They also have to listen to me correct them as their only teacher. As gentle as I try to be, I need to remember to also point out to them what they are doing well and when they are helping to cultivate a culture of love and kindness in our home.
One thing we won't be doing is following the 50-20-30 rule for our finances. It's not that I disagree with spending 20% of our income on financial stability and 30% on personal spending (shopping, entertainment, etc.). The problem, and one that probably affects lots of other people, is that we need more than 50% of our income to cover our essential living expenses (housing, health care, groceries, car payments, and utility bills). We could alter our percentages by changing Kansas Dad's job or sending me back into the workforce. Every now and then we talk about our options, but in the end we've always decided to continue our focus on family and relationships. We're willing to sacrifice these financial aspects to focus on what we think will make us happiest.
Another aspect I think Mr. Buettner doesn't really understand is the role of faith and children. The book encourages regular attendance and involvement in a faith community, but it doesn't seem to matter which one. Of course, we believe there is a difference and that following the truth of the Catholic Church (despite its current struggles) is better than other choices.
As for children, Mr. Buettner points out that they cause a decrease in happiness as long as they are dependents. I suppose that's true if you focus on the stress of raising children and perhaps our day-to-day struggles do cause less superficial happiness, but we believe children are a great blessing and give our lives meaning that would otherwise be more difficult to discern. I think this partly depends, too, on the support we have in raising children. Because we are relatively secure and supported by a loving family and parish, we experience less stress than others who may be worried about feeding their child.
Mr. Buettner's book seems to throw children in with other aspects of life like whether you can bike to work and eat healthy foods, but we would elevate them to another level. Children are not something you have to make you happier (now or in the future) nor are they something you should avoid because you think they will make you unhappy in the short term. All that being said, this view of children is probably outside the scope of Mr. Buettner's book, so I don't really blame him for this aspect of the book.
I received nothing in exchange for this review. I borrowed this book from the library. All opinions are my own. Links above to Amazon are affiliate links.
