Friday, July 23, 2010

A Few Ways to Know You're Nine Months Pregnant

In celebration of reaching forty weeks, again, here are a few ways you know you're nine months pregnant:
  • You decide the sheet on the top bunk is clean enough on linen-laundry day.
  • You sometimes have to walk to the far bathroom in the middle of the night (once, twice, or three times) to ease the ache in your hips before laying back down again.
  • You begin to dig into the stash of prepared dinners (or take advantage of the offers of ready dinners from very kind and generous friends) because otherwise the kids already running around the house would be eating cold cereal for breakfast and peanut butter and jelly sandwiches for lunch and dinner.
  • Only a few of the maternity clothes fit anymore. The good news is, with so few clothes, the laundry is always getting done or there wouldn't be anything to wear to the hospital.
  • Every morning, you think "Maybe today." That night, you think "Maybe tonight." In the morning, you think "Maybe today..."
  • Everywhere you go, people ask when you're due. Every. Single. Person. Who talks to you. And you have to cheerfully answer, "Today" or "Yesterday" or "Last Tuesday." You begin to wish people would just say "You look wonderful!" Or maybe..."Let me get you some ice cream!"
  • As you reach into the cupboard for a cup, the baby belly tips things over on the counter.
  • You begin every phone call with a cheerful "No baby yet!"
  • You begin to contemplate whether it would be easier to get out of bed and lay down again than it is to roll over.
  • You are out with the kids on one last play date and realize you can't find your two year old. Just as your heart starts to pound and you feel the panic creeping in, you bend over and discover her standing right in front of you. Hidden by the baby belly.


  1. Oh my goodness, you poor thing! I have never made it to 40 weeks, but I can still relate to your list!! The last month is a beautiful kind of torture ;) If I lived closer to you, I'd bring you a whole quart of ice cream to celebrate 40 weeks and to usher in labor...hang in there. Can't wait to see your lovely new baby! Danielle

  2. this was pretty funny but the last one made me laugh out load! Definitely have done that before!

  3. I had one mom (of teens) that would always tell me, "you look great!" whenever she saw me during my pregnancy with Gideon. While I didn't always believe her, it certainly was nicer to hear than all the typical comments/questions. I'll have to remember the one about the ice cream if I ever have the opportunity to offer that to someone very pregnant.

    And "you look great" is always the best comment after the baby comes too, after you ooh and aah over the baby, of course. ;-)

  4. Strangely enough, I was already in labor when this post was published. (I had previously scheduled it.) At least I was still pregnant at the time.

    Second Son arrived on his due date! Pictures and posts to come, of course.

    Hilary, last week someone at church asked when I was due. When I answered, she said, "I never would have guessed it was so soon! You look wonderful!" She almost made me cry and I gave her a hug. I don't even care if she thought it was really true. It made my day!

    Midnight Mom, Kansas Dad brought me ice cream today after baby was born. I'm practically addicted to that stuff when I'm pregnant!

  5. Your list is hilarious! I love it, Jill!

  6. Awww... I feel your pain! At least you made me smile today... :) Very soon, it'll be so worth it... oh and if I were near you, I'd say, 'you look wonderful! lets go get some icecream!"


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